There’s probably about 3.8 billion women on earth right now, and there are still plenty of men who choose and settle for the wrong type of women when it comes to finding a partner.
Getting into a committed relationship and marriage is a serious decision to make and should not be poorly done. Ignoring red flags, or not noticing them altogether is a recipe for disaster while mating and dating.
This list is intended to help the men who are looking to pick the right girl, look out for certain red flags while on the dating scene. This can also help the women who want to be the best versions of themselves, identify the type of woman that they should aim not to be, if they want to have a successful relationship and marriage with the right man.
#1 The Insecure Woman
Having insecurities is normal, and is part of the human condition. We all have insecurities to some extent. But when your insecurity gets to the point where attributes like low self-esteem and unwarranted jealousy are present, that’s when having insecurities can get out of hand.
Having a secure partner is a key component in sustaining a healthy relationship. Dealing with a woman that may be insecure about things like her looks (she may too often not feel pretty enough), or her exaggerated suspicion of you not liking her enough or falsely thinking that you like other women, is a draining experience. These insecurity issues will continue to come up and affect the relationship until she works on resolving them on her own.
Another thing that can make a woman insecure is the fact that she may be dealing with damage from a previous relationship, where she is still hurt or bitter about events from the past. These type of women tends to be inconsistent and unstable in maintaining her relationships. It’s common for them to eventually break things off and run from their relationships out of fear that they will be hurt again how they were in the past.
The insecure girl will always require you to over exert yourself in your effort to attempt to make her happy. She’ll have you wondering silly things like, did you call or text her enough throughout the day. This type of woman will not be healthy enough to properly receive what you have to offer her in a relationship setting. She will always be dealing with you from a damaged perspective.
Essentially, nothing you do will be enough. An insecure woman needs time to herself so that she can work on herself. She needs to figure out how to deal with the personal issues that’s caused her to be damaged and broken before she can be in a healthy relationship. You can always advise this type of woman to seek professional therapy if you want to deal with her, simply want to help her or if you are her.
The insecure woman can make improvement, but you shouldn’t be looking to settle down with her while she’s still in that toxic state. Eventually, trying to help her get out of that space will become emotionally draining, and you’ll find yourself, losing yourself in her and the relationship. Allow her to resolve her insecurity issues before you continue on with a serious relationship.
#2 The Spender / Gold Digger
The spender won’t be hard to spot, because she typically will do things that suggests she’s high maintenance. You might have a simple coffee or local bar date in mind for a first date, but the spender might suggest that you guys go somewhere more costly like a steakhouse.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a woman if you’re comfortable with that. The issue with the spender, is that she just about makes it an obligation for you to spend your money on her. This is the woman that typically wouldn’t even give you a chance, unless you can prove that you have and are willing to spend the money needed to finance the type of lifestyle she wants.
The irony of some spenders is that they are unable to finance the type of lifestyle that they want you to provide for them, or can also be bad at budgeting and managing their own money. It’s bad enough this type of woman wants to spend your money that she doesn’t have, but she has no problem putting you in debt in the process.
She’s the girl that’s always looking to order the most expensive things on the menu when you take her out to dinner. Even after several dates, she’ll never offer to pay for a date.
A key indication that a woman is not really into you is her unwillingness to spend money on you while dating you. Women are natural givers, so a woman who’s genuinely for you or really into you, will always want to give to you. If you’ve been involved with a woman for a good amount of time, and she’s always taking and not giving, it’s a clear sign that she’s using you.
The worst part is that her high maintenance behavior never ends, so you can look forward to dishing the cash out as soon as it rolls in if you decide to stay with this girl.
This type of woman is also likely to leave you at the first sign of financial difficulty. She may not walk away right away, but as soon as she realizes finances are starting to become an issue for you, she’ll be secretly planning her exit strategy and will likely be in the process of lining up your replacement.
#3 The Drama Queen
The drama queen is typically loud and always wants to be the center of attention. She thrives off of arguing and chaos, and is naturally not good at conflict resolution.
This type of woman may also have insecurity issues that can in turn cause her to feel the need to seek validation from sources outside of your relationship, so it isn’t unusual for them to want to get attention from other men by flirting with them.
She tends to like to gossip, even about her own family and friends. The gossiping isn’t limited to just friends and family though. She gossips about just about everyone including you when you’re not around.
The most dangerous type of drama queen, is the one whose behavior can get you into trouble out in public. She’s a mouthy woman that has no regard for things that are said and done that may come off as offensive or disrespectful towards people, leaving you to be caught in conflict that could have been avoided to begin with.
As a man you’re definitely supposed to protect your woman, but she’s also supposed to be your peace and help create a safe haven from the chaos and stresses of life. The drama queen typically cannot relate to a tranquil environment, so to avoid the unnecessary drama, just avoid the unnecessary drama queen altogether.
#4 The Negative Girl
The negative girl is just that, negative. She’s more negative than positive, and is basically the opposite of what a woman should be in a mans life which is inspiring.
It’s hard to inspire, support and encourage your man if you’re always bringing negative energy into the equation.
Some women tend to confuse their constant negativity with what they’ll claim to be a perspective of reality. But when there’s hardly any optimism from a person in almost every situation, that is a toxic pattern that will ultimately make you and the relationship suffer.
#5 The Liar / Inconsistent Girl
It’s almost natural for people to tell a white lie every once in a while, but when you’re dealing with an inconsistent woman who constantly lies, that’s a major red flag.
A person that appreciates you that has genuine intentions, should not have an issue being up front, transparent and honest throughout the process of getting to know them.
Do not overlook a person that does things like give you one version of a story during one time, but the details of the story changes later on down the line, if you so happen to revisit the topic.
Pay attention to the behaviors, habits and genuineness of a woman when getting to know her.
#6 The Girl That’s Not Ready
If you meet a woman, and she tells you that she’s not ready to be in a relationship in any point of the courting phase, believe her because there’s more than likely a good reason that she is letting you know this.
Eventually you will want to be in a relationship with a woman that you start to date on a regular basis, and the problem with that is, the girl that’s not ready is emotionally unavailable. She will have a wall up that you won’t be able to pass, and she’ll either sabotage the opportunity to start a healthy relationship or the actual relationship itself after it starts.
There’s a good chance that she’s still dealing with being broken from a previous relationship and you will not be able to fix her, or love her enough to make her ready and healthy enough to begin a new relationship.
She may be upfront with you and explain to you exactly why she’s not ready to move forward with a healthy relationship, but some women tend to conceal the extent of the damage that they are dealing with.
They do this because they may be only looking for a placeholder or a rebound relationship until they figure out what it is they really want to do about their past lover moving forward. And what happens during that process is that while she has her feelings closed off with you, you might allow yourself to be vulnerable for her and let her disappoint and hurt you if you catch feelings for her.
Whether you catch feelings or not, the worst thing that you can do is allow yourself to get caught up in the whirlwind of the chaos that she hasn’t situated. The best thing to do is to take a step back and allow this woman to do the work that she needs done to help deal with and heal her brokenness.
#7 The Heartbroken Woman
The heartbroken woman possesses the attributes to lure you into falling in love with her because deep down she’s a lover at heart. But leaving her guard down is what caused her to get her heart broken, and ultimately she won’t be able to be with you in a healthy relationship. She still has a wall up and still needs to deal with the hurt and trauma that’s left her broken.
Many women, even if they’ve been heartbroken, are typically great catches in the beginning stages of dealing with them. But it’s only a matter of time before they get triggered and end up reacting to the pain they’ve been concealing from past experiences.
At some point, as you come aspects of her past, she’ll begin to expose some of the damage that’s been caused within her previous relationship(s). Typically, she’ll always paint herself as the victim and every guy that she’s dated as the bad guy. She’ll probably give you the impression that she’s not effected by the past damage of those relationships, but most times out of ten she is still in fact effected by what’s happened in the past and is only concealing the pain.
If she hasn’t taken the proper steps to seek professional help, like a therapist, about the traumas of her past, or has took the time to heal and understand how to deal with the hurt that she’s been dealing with, it is more than likely that she will periodically react to the pain of the past, and you will end up paying for the pain that a previous partner has caused her.
If you enter into a relationship with this woman, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship is destroyed. The type of pain that she had to deal with before you is the type of pain that she’s going to cause you to have. Heart broken people are good for breaking hearts. If you’re looking for something long term, she’s eventually going to suck you in, break your heart, then eventually break off the relationship.
Your best bet is to leave this type of woman alone and allow her to seek professional help and do the work of fixing herself before you pursue her on a serious level.
#8 The Girl That Rushes Things
A woman that looks to rush you into a relationship too soon, like within a couple of weeks of dating, is definitely a red flag. Typically, a woman likes to evaluate her options as she screens out different men to try and figure out which guy she’d like to allow to pursue her for something serious down the line.
The natural progression of a relationship is typically that the man approaches a woman, shows signs that he is a confident and suitable man to the woman that he is dealing with, courts and dates the woman as she is reciprocating that she has equal or more interest in him, and the man ultimately controls access as to whether or not a relationship and marriage will happen.
When a woman is pushing for a relationship, especially early on in the situation, it might be because she doesn’t have many options. This can bring about desperation within the woman, and end up targeting a man that she may deem an easy target to try and force into a relationship.
If you meet a woman that is strong on wanting a relationship, but has an inconsistent or toxic relationship history, it’s best to past that situation up, because it’s very likely that the other guys in her past know something that you don’t and that’s why she’s single. You want to date a woman of some value, not one who comes off low value and you can’t even pinpoint why.
Ask questions about her relationship history. Look out for inconsistency in her stories about her past along with actions and patters in real time. A certain level of toxicity from her past and present along with the fact that she’s urging you to get into something serious would be you setting yourself up for failure if you play into that.
Many woman can be clever and devious, and will know how to cover up the things that other guys in her past may know that you don’t. She’s probably single for a reason, and that reason is likely something that diminishes her value as a woman, which will go against what you want as a man, which is to deal with a high value woman.
Typically it would be understandable if a woman might start pushing for a relationship after about 2 or 3 months of a man properly courting her, given that the vibe and frequency has been on point throughout the dating process. But for a woman to be pushing for a relationship after a week or 2 is a red flag.
#9 The Needy Girl
This is the woman that seems to show too much interest, too soon, and too strongly. She will likely not have too much of a life outside of the relationship and will do things like initiating text conversations up to 5 times a day and more.
The needy girl commonly happens when the girl that you’re dating feels as though you are of higher value than her. She may feel like she lucked up by getting you, leading her to feel pressured to make sure that she locks you down as her man.
#10 The Bossy Chick
The bossy chick of course tends to be controlling. She’ll always be looking to be the person that ultimately calls the shots in the relationship. She’s likely to have insecurity issues, and will have trouble being vulnerable enough to allow you to play your role as a man in the relationship.
She can be overly aggressive in the way that she communicates with you, and other people in her life. The bossy chick, if manipulative enough, might initially have a nice attitude and demeanor towards you early on in the relationship, but will inadvertently mistreat and be bossy towards other people.
It’s always important to be observant of the character of a woman, not just with you, but with family, friends and even complete strangers. Women can be good at containing or concealing the very character flaws that you shouldn’t overlook (like a short temper or a lack of patience), so they may not jump out at you right away. But if and when you do start to notice them, you don’t want to overlook the toxic characteristics that will ultimately ruin the dynamics of how the relationship should be.
The best dynamic for a relationship is one where the man leads and the woman follows. The relationship going in that direction will better help produce romantic feelings and sexual tension within the woman. If a man is following what a woman is doing, this puts the man in a submissive position, and the woman in a dominant one, which is recipe for disaster in mating, dating, and relationships.
While it is just fine for each person in a relationship to have an opinion, input, and perspective, the combative nature of the bossy chick will always put a strain on the relationship. A lot of issues that her partner will want to address or resolve will be shot down or constantly met with resistance.
In order for relationships to work, there has to be compromise between both partners. The problem with the bossy chick is that she always wants to be right, so if you so happen to bump into her you might want to go left.
It’s important for men to understand that if you don’t set standards on what you will accept from and require of a woman, you’ll never get the things that you want and need from a woman when it comes to relationships. Dealing with a woman that does not respect you and is not (eventually) in love with you is an uphill battle that no man will want to deal with if they plan on dealing with that woman on a serious level and for the long term.
In this day in age, a lot of women are deceptive, playing games, applying strategies to benefit from and use men, and just flat out have no issue with wasting a mans time and money while breaking his heart in the process. It’s important to be attentive with everything from the subtle signs to the toxic traits and red flags, to avoid disappointment in the future.
Keep your options open, if the person that you’re seeing is not doing the things that you require of a woman, move on and keep dating until you find the girl that is willing to get down with your program. The girl that really likes you and loves you will have no problem showing you that she does.